Finding Help
Crisis Help
Before Help Arrives
Steps to try to calm/control the situation while you wait for help:
If your child has a safety plan, follow any planned strategies you have in place. If you do not yet have a
safety plan, try any strategies you feel may be effective in this particular situation. You may also want to
consider some of the following tips to help de-escalate the situation:
- Try to stay calm
- Speak slowly and confidently with a gentle, caring tone of voice
- Do not argue or challenge your child even if what they are saying seems unreasonable or outrageous to you
- Do not threaten
- Use positive words instead of negative words
- Stay with your child but try not to restrict their movement
- Listen actively and try to give positive support and reassurance
- Realize you may have trouble communicating with your child
- Ask simple questions and repeat them if necessary
- Say, "I'm here. I care. I want to help. How can I help you?"
- Empathize with how your child is feeling
- Try not to take your child's actions or comments personally
- The increased intensity of the situation can sometimes make it more difficult for us to hide our own fears or opinions so do your best to stay calm
- Don't handle the crisis alone if you have people who can support you such as family, friends, neighbors, people from your place of worship, or people from a local support group
- Don't threaten to call 911 unless you intend to. When you call 911, police and/or an ambulance are likely to come to your house. This may make your loved one more upset, so use 911 only when you or someone else is in immediate danger
Keep in Mind That:
- Your child may be frightened by the feelings they are experiencing
- Symptoms such as suspiciousness or distorted thinking can cause youth to be fearful and not trust other people even you
- It can sometimes be helpful to take a break from the conversation for a while when you are waiting to get help.